Bad luck bike

I’m not a superstitious man. Except in the dark or whilst alone. If I were, perhaps I would consider my bike to be CURSED. The first time I rode it (home from the shop) I got a puncture. The next time I rode it I was run over by a transit van.
Anyway I fell off last Friday – hurting my ribs. It was a very low-speed and unspectacular fall, but I was winded and my ribs were bruised. Because you can’t take bikes on the Underground, I had to cycle home at low speed, groaning and puffing, and I had to spend Friday evening in Casualty. Even the smallest things hurt – breathing, lying down, flushing the toilet. I haven’t sneezed in days…