I think I’ll catch a pigeon
To teach it how to dance
I’ll keep it in the wardrobe
And feed it bread from France
My pigeon will be stubborn
And steadfastly refuse
To switch off Silent Witness
So I can watch the news
My pigeon will make gravy
With string and twigs and dirt.
Our guests will smile indulgently
But leave before dessert.
(with thanks to wetwebwork for the pigeon photo)