Archive for the 'Words & Pictures' Category

The Chocolate Alchemist

chocolate_alchemist4.JPG

If you get a chance to visit the Alexandra Palace Farmer’s Market, do please stop by the “Chocolate Alchemist” stall; As you might guess they sell organic chocolate products; This British company make a range of bizarrely spiced and beautifully packaged chocolate treats. I would certainly rate all of their products above mass-produced organic chocolates (e.g. Green and Blacks), as even their plain chcolates seem to have a distinctive smoothness lacking in high-end supermarket chocolates.

I took some hyper-coloured photos of their products which can be found here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/salimfadhley/sets/72057594114637940/

I hope the Chocolate Alchemists find my photoset and are so impressed that they decide to comission me to take more of their lovely products. In case they are reading this… I will work for chocolate!

My collection of Frank Key Pamphlets

Dear readers of the infernal bloggosphere. I present to you my hard-won collection of Frank Key novels and pamphlets. These are truly rare items of literature, each has been out of print for at least a decade.

The fold-out diagram from Twitching & Shattered

Some of you will know Frank Key as the humorist behind Resonance FM’s “Hooting Yard on the Air“. Others will know him by his messy web-pages, but few people knwo that long before these modern contrivances he was an out of print pamphleteer. My collection currently includes:

Click on any of the above links to see photos of the item.

Viennese Arrival

I’ve just landed in Vienna, in anticipation of the Plone conference 2005. Since my recent work for BlueOrange has been more zope-centric: The company somewhat eschews the majesty of Plone, I hope that this will be a chance to catch up with the Plone and Zope events that have occurred during the last six months since the EuroPython conference in Sweden.

My fight was uneventful; Heathrow was as bustling and overcrowded as usual. One moment of levity came from observing the near-arrest of a young girl and her subsequent argument with a police officer.

She was outraged at the police officer’s temerity to intervene in a family squabble that resulted in her assaulting another woman. I heard her outraged protestation of “But it’s my father’s girlfriend”. Of course that makes it all right!

Afterwards I found the same police officer diligently patrolling the area next door to the American Express foreign exchange desk (or was he trying to chat-up the pretty lady who worked behind the desk). I congratulated him on his policing methods - one cannot be too careful when intervening in such fights: These women know no respect for the law when enraged.

At the check-in, British Airways issued me with a £5 voucher with which to buy food, their outsourced catering company “Gate Gourmet” had gone bankrupt a month ago. I’m surprised that no other company has stepped in to fill this role, but on the whole I would rather grab a snack or two from the airport than eat what passes for food in the air.

Could this not be seen as an opportunity for cost-cutting? The lack of food did not seem to put people off travelling with BA (I could think of better reasons not to fly with them than the absence of a soggy sandwich). If food were not provided then tickets might be a few quid cheaper and we could all feed ourselves however we desired courtesy of McDonalds or “Caviar House” in the departure lounge. On second thoughts, that is perhaps not such a brilliant idea.

On the flight I began “Moby Dick” by Herman Melville - a most spectacular novel - and certainly not light reading. Once again, the inspiration for trading this text was Frank Key’s website. In a few of his stories he refers to this book (and at least one commentary on Moby Dick). I find Frank’s style of writing not all that dis-similar to melville.

I note with some glee that WiFi is free in this airport: I’m sat in an internationally branded coffee bar blogging this courtesy of Cisco who have sponsored WiFi access throughout the entire airport site. Now why cant they do this in London’s airports where T-Mobile and others routinely charge five pounds per hour for accessing a service whose wholesale value is nearly zero.

Anyway, more blogging shall ensure over the next week. In a few moments I expect Nate (Author of the Plone4Artists suite) will find me in this cafe. He’s come all the way from Boston. After a short wait for a third conference attendee we shall share a taxi into the city and see what adventures fate has in store for us.

To Serve and Protect

Police Vs Bad Guyz

What was the inspiration for Sir Ian Blair (the Metropolitan Police Comissioner’s) allegedly covered-up shoot to kill policy? I suggest that he is modeling the new London police-force on the characters from this “Police Vs Bad Guyz” playset that I found in Tesco.

As you can see, each police officer comes with a selection of machine-guns, tasers and riot shields. These cops are ready and willing to bring in their quarry, dead or alive. They fight the “War Against Terror”, with the awesome, overpowering might of all oversized guns blazing.

The motto of the “Police” is “Catch the Bad Guyz, Lock ‘em up”, a sentement that would not be encouraged by the Howard league for penal reform. The playsets do not appear to include a “Police vs Bad Guyz” magistrate’s court, nor any solicitors or any characters able to provide due process of law. One can only assume that these police are allowed to lock up anybody who is significantly shifty-looking.

This is entirely reasonable, given that the bad guys in On the other hand, the “Bad Guyz” in question dress in an obviously criminal fashion. The “Police” can safely shoot to kill when they see a perp wearing a cyber-enhanced prison-uniform. Of course in the real-world, a moderately puffy jacket is a dead giveaway of teroristic intent.

Inappropriate use of MS Comic Sans

Inappropriate use of MS Comic Sans

While spending a week’s holiday in Gran Canaria, (it was a last-minute deal, we booked it the day before) my girlfriend and I noticed the preponderance of Comic Sans, a horrible font.

As we noticed more and more instances of this pernicious weed (menus, shop fronts, signs, notices, posters, fliers, etc) we developed a kind of shorthand “look, Comic Sans” gesture. The satisfaction - similar to that felt in the mid-nineties upon sighting of a prime mullet, before the term had seeped into the public consciousness - was short-lived. It became less funny and our tastes became more discerning.

Now only the crassest use of the font will hold our interest. We haven’t seen any funeral homes using Comic Sans yet, but pictured above is a handout from a course my girlfriend attended. It quotes (probably erroneously as it turns out - see Wikipedia article) Petronius Arbiter, a noted satirist and courtier in Nero’s Rome, who committed suicide in AD 66.

Call a spade a spade

Typical of the internet, and particularly Google Images. I’m trying to research images for a cartoon I’m directing. I have a mob of villagers with torches and farm implements, so I search for spade, and get only one image in twenty that’s any use!

The Shrew’s Broom

The Shrew\'s Broom

“blairmustgo” stensil graffito on a bus-shelter, Hornsey, London

According to The Highway Code “Signs with red circles are mostly prohibitive.”, a fact that Tony Blair would no doubt be aware of if he were to drive past this bus-shelter in Hornsey, North London. The text reads “blairmustgo”, a message a message Tony “one-jag” Blair would be moving too quickly to read.

Blair Must Go

Once again, I can only assume that this is anarchist/marxist inspired grafitti, perhaps only because spraying it onto a bus-shelter is technically an act of sabotage. Any act of subversion is made doubly subversive if it involves an act of destruction.

If the same image was rendered on a 48-sheet poster above the high-street, you would naturally assume that it was the latest Saatchi & Saatchi campaign for the Conservative party, in fact the conservatives have barely moved on from their 1980’s “Devil Eyes” campaign, and it seems no more effective now than it did back then.

It is possible that this is related to the Blair Must Go Party, from what I can tell, a one-person party campaigning only in Mr Blair’s ultra-safe Sedgefield constituency, and certainly not in Hornsey and Wood-Green.

Darth Blair collage, opposite Bounds Green underground station, North London

I can see what he’s trying to do… can you? The great irony is that this graffitti (which I assume is an anarchist/marxist on the state of the Blair government), bears an uncanny similarity to the latest conservative party posters. Politics makes for the strangest bed-fellows.

Unfortunately, the credit for this composition has been obscured by a traffic light: This rather daring act of collage has been put together by North London writer “Dr D”, and can be seen just opposite Bounds Green station on the Picadilly Line.

Darth Blair
The force is strong with this one…

I’m allways astounded at the dullness of politcal messages. We owe our politicans a round of sarcastic applause for a plethora of artless, il-conceived poster advertising.

Who could forget the Lib-Dem posters where Kenedy declares himself against targets and for ‘being nice’?

What about the conservative party posters that blame the invention of bacteria on the Labour Party.

What could be less effective than the Labour party posters that fail to go any further than stating that they are not the Conservative party.

With such meaningless advertising, it is no surprise that (compared to the mainstream parties), the anarchists seem bold and uncompromising.

L’Espion: Semi-Covert Photography in Alexandra Park

One might think (judging by this photo), that the cyclist is unaware that he is being spied upon, however I must assure you that this is not the case.

Peek A Boo!

The object that I am photographing through is very small, and could not conceal me from even the most distracted passer-by. The cyclist is looking at me in puzzlement, because he sees a grown man attempting to hide behind a small fence-post in broad day light. Only once he has past me and risked a backwards glance does he realise that he is has been involved in an experimental photograph.

How could I take this concept further? Perhaps I could go on the London Underground dressed in an absurd costume (e.g. Giant Lobster, Ballerina, Aphid, Monkey ), and secretly take photos of people as they gawp at my akwardness.